Road Conspiracy

I think there was a conspiracy against my car this morning on the way to work. There were 4 different road obstructions that I either ran over, or narrowly missed.

1. On 285, I’m in the 4th lane, cruising around 70 MPH. I see something in the road up ahead. I look to see if I can switch lanes. Cars to the left of me, cars to the right of me. None will slow down, or speed up. I slow down as the impending impact nears, but I still hit it at around 50 mph. I hear a thud as I run over a plank of wood. Thankfully, I didn’t hit any nails and blow my tire.

2. Still on 285 now, this time past Spaghetti Junction. I’m riding behind a painter’s truck. I see an orange Gatorade bucket coming dislodged from the mass of junk on the back of the cab. It was like slow motion. This time I was able to switch to the right lane and get out of the way before the bucket crashed to the highway. I sped up as much as possible to make sure it didn’t take a strange angle and somehow hit me. The car that was previously behind me wasn’t as lucky as I was.

3. Now, I’m on 75 heading north. I see taillights illuminating, although since it’s mad bright out, just barely. I decide to pass them on the left, since there is no reason to be going 50 MPH on the highway. I turn on the blinker to the empty lane next to me and am greeted by an unexpected sight… A leather recliner chair in the middle of the lane. Heart racing, I quickly change back to my original lane so I didn’t hit it. That would have sucked. I call 511 to report it, but couldn’t get through.

4. Finally off the highway, on the surface street by my job. I’m going like 30. All of a sudden a squirrel darts out in front of my car. I thought about swerving, but I would have hit a car next to me. So the squirrel just had to take a loss. I actually don’t know if I hit it or not since when I parked I didn’t see any blood or guts, but I was so glad to finally be off the roads. Seemed like they was out to get me today.