Sunday, January 3, 2010

Happy New Year

12/31/09 - Phone rings. It's my sister. I'm at work so I can't answer it. Phone rings again: It's my brother. I didn't notice this until it was time for break. I see both of these calls and they both left a message. Immediately I think, "who died?"

Message 2: Hey, this is Jelani. Give me a call when you get a chance.

Message 1: Hey, this is Nikki. Tongi has taken a turn for the worse and I'm hoping you can go visit. She's in ICU, so you won't be able to see her, but you can go give support to the family.

Yeah, I'm not gonna be able to do that. Tongi is my first cousin, who lives like 20 minutes away. I don't know what is wrong with her, but she either had tumors around her heart, had a heart attack or both. Getting information from my family is quite a task. They make things sound worse than they are, or not as serious as they are. It's flummoxing. Last I heard she weighed 77 pounds. She was always skinny, but of course not that skinny. It sounds bad. It doesn't sound like she's gonna make it. But I don't want to go to the hospital. I don't do well with death and I do even worse with sickness. Like what am I supposed to do while she's laying there Am I supposed to know what to say to her husband and her kids? Do they even know who I am? I've seen her 3 times in the last 10 years. I don't even know her married last name. Yeah, I'm not the man for this job.

I'm glad my sister came up to visit to represent for the family, because I wouldn't be able to do it..I hope that this is another one of those situations where my family exaggerates . For example, my mom's husband who died last year, was supposed to have died 3 years ago. I never know what will really happen. Not a good start to the New Year though.


Jameil said...

I'm mad you called this post Happy New Year. 77 lbs. is frightening. As bad as it sounds, I have a lot of first cousins... there are many I wouldn't sit around the hospital for.

12kyle said...

I'm the same way, bruh. I don't deal with that stuff too easy. And when somebody gets sick, I'm usually the last one to know

Nexgrl said...

If you're not comfortable, you shouldn't feel bad about not going. I have first cousins who live in the same city/neighborhood as me and I refuse to allow them to know where I live or my telephone number. I told my mother that they can speak to me through her or my sister.

Not so Anonymous said...

That's heartbreaking. It's the holiday season and she's sick like that...77lbs? I hope they are exaggerating.

Happy New Year, by the way.

Trish said...

I'm not the best in comforting people either. It seems like people always use "sorry for your loss" when someone dies so now I try to get creative so that I'm not just repeating everyone else.

SincerelyGo said...

I only have like ONE cousin I give a damn about. But wow...hang in their buddy! Cry and Snot on Jameil as much as you need to( dont look at me like that shoulder to cry on is too far away) Hang in their buddy...don't give up on the New Year just yet! Hugs



Ginae said...

now how in the world did i miss this post? i read the other one about your BF and then saw this one after the fact...

i really, really, hope 2010 gets better for you.