Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Guess My Responses

I went to a different barbershop today, and predictably, crazy followed. My barber would not stop talking to me. I can't stand that. It was the longest 20 minutes of my life. Okay, that's an exaggeration. But it was the longest 20 minutes of my day. Here are some of things he said: Try to guess my responses: 

"Hey Dawg, I'll give you $5 off your haircut if you run me down to the Atrium for this DJ contest"

"We are all about the customer service here. We mean it, my nigga!"

"You think Jay-Z is in the Illuminati?" -

"What exactly is the illuminati?"

"You on twitter, my man? You should follow me!"

"I heard it from a reliable source. Will Smith is gay."

"I hate DJing grown and sexy parties. I can't even scratch Frankie Beverly. Can you imagine what they would think?."

"I used to be scared to put a razor to a nigga's head. I'm still kinda getting used to it."

At least the haircut came out okay. But I won't be going back to that barber shop anymore.


Jameil said...

Yeah I'ma need you to stay away from there. Permanently.

SimplyB said...

OMG!!! My mouth would have been wide open during the entire haircut.

I don't see how you could have formed responses to his questions/comments.

Trish said...

Hmm...let's see. You passed on the $5 off. You ignored the customer service comment. probably played the role like you didn't know what he was talking about. The comment about being afraid to cut hair is probably when you got up, lol!

Jameil said...

I'll do you one better, trish.
1) Make it $4 and we've got a deal! Actually I'll do it for free if you make me your official promoter.
2) Good! Now where's the nearest strip club?
3) DO I!?! I been tellin fools this for years!!
4) Insert your long rambling (incorrect) explanation.
5)SURE AM!! Adding you RIGHT NOW!!
6) For real!??! I always knew there was a reason I didn't like 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.' I'm too straight for it.
7) You should do it anyway! Shake up their worlds!! I'm telling you, though, dog, with me as your promoter you would never do another grown & sexy party!! I could take you to new heights!!
8) All I know is you better not slip up or I. will. CUT. YOU. Hahaha *straight face* *pointer draws a jagged line across the throat*
And yes, you will return.

Nexgrl said...

Please reveal why you chose that as your alternate?

Trish said...

Jameil-Hahahahahahahaha! I have a feeling those may be better than the real answers.

Rashan Jamal said...

Nah, I got some stuff to take care of in the other direction when I leave here… It wasn’t a lie. I had to take care of going home.

*didn’t say anything*

I don’t know. It’s a secret, right?

Man, I don’t even know. Sure I knew all about it from my college paranoid days, but I didn’t want to engage.

I got a twitter page, but I’m hardly on there.

Word? I mean, if he is, he is.

Yeah, you right.

Yo, I’m good with just the clippers. I got an appointment to get to. (An appointment with not bleeding.)

Opinionated Diva said...

LOL! I'm gonna go with "no" to everything.

this is why i go to the Dominican shop...they chatty as hell, but i pretend i don't understand Spanish and they leave me alone. lol