Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Freak'um Dress

Day 4 of NaBloPoMo

 Sunday I go to the leasing office to pay my rent. It’s the first of the month, and this time I was actually prepared as opposed to most months when I forget until the exact last minute and wind up trying to run to the office and end up being late for work while I wait for them to #1 acknowlege me, #2 actually take my check, and #3 give me a copy of the check. Yes I have duplicate checks, but my complex has a history of losing not just checks, but everything. In fact I haven’t had a lease for the last 7 months. Why? Because they lost the paperwork that told them that my lease was up in April, then when they realized, have now lost the lease again. Anyway, that was a very long digression. As I was saying, I went to the office and for once there was actually someone attentive at the desk.

“Hey, I want to pay my rent.”
“Thank you! Would you like a copy?”
“Yes, please”---- I’m so polite.

So, as she is going back to the copy machine, these two guys come in the office. I guess they are in their 20’s and they both have on polos and jeans. One of them has cornrows that are tied up in the back. They speak to no one in particular.


WTF? Did I just hear Wanda? All I needed was for one of them to say “For real tho?”

They continued.

“I’m gonna get me some candy. She always has the best candy on her desk.”

“Oooooh, she musta went twick or tweeting. She got that fire candy.”

The lady comes back to the desk and says hi to the guys. I guess they are friends or at the very least friendly. She doesn’t have my check copy in her hand. The two guys put lollipops in their mouths suggestively. Well, maybe it wasn’t intentionally suggestive, but lets just call it…dainty. Yeah, that’s what it was. Them dudes were dainty. Beyonce comes on the radio that’s playing in the background.
“Oooh, girl turn that up. I loves me some Miss B.

The song is Freak’um Dress. These dudes start dancing. Like vogueing. Is that what it’s called? Remember Madonna’s backup dancers from the 90’s. That’s what they were doing. I was taken aback, so I moved out of the way as I felt that a flying limb was going to hit me at any moment.

“Put your Freak’um Dress On… Put your Freak’um Dress On…”

Finally, the lady comes back from the copy machine and gives me my check. I say thanks and make a beeline out of the office. One of the maintenance men stops me.
“Did you see them sissies in there?”

I try to keep walking. He is not deterred.

“My man!!! You see them??? Them guys were in there twirling around and ish? They need a woman to straighten them out.”

“I don’t think they like women.” And kept it moving.

I always hated that song.


Ladynay said...

ROFL@ the scene in my head!

ROFL@ Bey coming on at just the right time!

ROFL@ 2 "dainty" men working it out right there in the leasing office

ROFL@ dude thinking a woman can change the dancers

You can tell the office you paid your rent for the year and when they say other wise you can say, "well I guess you lost it with all my other documentation!" HAHAHAHAHA!

♥PrettyPacino♥ said...

I can just see this happening in my head. SMH...
SMH @ the dancing, the Bey, the lollipops, and the "heyyyyyyyyy"

LMao @ everything!

But at least she didn't lose your check in all the melee!! :-)

Not So Anonymous said...

hey, hey, hey...that song has nothing to do with those guys, lol. You run into the most funny people all the time.

Nexgrl said...

Can you imagine having to watch that image while you're sitting at the reference desk, but there's no radio, they're singing acapella? (That's my life!)

Ms. Behaving said...

A little footage of this tomfoolery would have made my afternoon.

Ah well...I guess I'll just go with my own visual...


Jameil said...

LOLOL! I love that he assumed you weren't with them! They might've been your homeboys!!! Love the dainty cornrowed men vogueing! HILARIOUS!!!! vogue evolution atlanta chapter in effect! i bet they'll show up to show stacey up!

Trish said...

Please tell me they didn't really say "twick or tweeting!!" I pictured it like the others did and it seemed a mess. I won't even get started on my rant about grown men with braids.

It was cool that you didn't get into gossip dialogue with the maintenance guy. I would like to say that I would have kept it moving too but I probably would have laughed with him.

DaniColoredGlasses said...

wow....that image....priceless

Opinionated Diva said...

lmao!!! i'm just trying to picture vogueing to Freakum Dress and I can't! lol

men sucking on a lollipop...very howUdoin!

Minerva Exertion said...

LMAO...that's all I have to say.

Adei von K said...



My man!!!

Rashan Jamal said...

@ ladynay - yeah, i thought about taking a month of from rent to see if they would catch it. but it would be just my luck for them to be on top of it that month

@ Pretty Pacino - hey thanks for stopping by. yeah, it was quite a scene.

@ Not so anon - LOL I blame Bey for creating all those songs. It's her fault. Single Ladies, Crazy in Love, That Pat Yo Weave song.

@ Nexgrl - yeah, you got me beat. I can handle one day of it

@ Ms B - yeah, I'm sure they would have posed for the camera phone if Video phone came on.LOL

@ Jameil - LOL - I was unshaven looking rough. I didn't look like I was down with them that day. Next time Stace is in in ATL, I'll find them for her.

@ Trish - yeah, one of them did say twick..or tweeting. I'd like to say it was me being a bigger person, but the truth is I just don't like talking to people. LOL

@ dani - yeah, and you just read about it. i lived through it. lol

@ diva - maybe I'll post a video showing what they looked like... NO IM NOT SERIOUS!!

@ minerva - yep it's funny later, but when its happening..

@ adei - wow, indeed