Freak'um Dress

Day 4 of NaBloPoMo

 Sunday I go to the leasing office to pay my rent. It’s the first of the month, and this time I was actually prepared as opposed to most months when I forget until the exact last minute and wind up trying to run to the office and end up being late for work while I wait for them to #1 acknowlege me, #2 actually take my check, and #3 give me a copy of the check. Yes I have duplicate checks, but my complex has a history of losing not just checks, but everything. In fact I haven’t had a lease for the last 7 months. Why? Because they lost the paperwork that told them that my lease was up in April, then when they realized, have now lost the lease again. Anyway, that was a very long digression. As I was saying, I went to the office and for once there was actually someone attentive at the desk.

“Hey, I want to pay my rent.”
“Thank you! Would you like a copy?”
“Yes, please”---- I’m so polite.

So, as she is going back to the copy machine, these two guys come in the office. I guess they are in their 20’s and they both have on polos and jeans. One of them has cornrows that are tied up in the back. They speak to no one in particular.

“Heeeeey”

WTF? Did I just hear Wanda? All I needed was for one of them to say “For real tho?”

They continued.

“I’m gonna get me some candy. She always has the best candy on her desk.”

“Oooooh, she musta went twick or tweeting. She got that fire candy.”

The lady comes back to the desk and says hi to the guys. I guess they are friends or at the very least friendly. She doesn’t have my check copy in her hand. The two guys put lollipops in their mouths suggestively. Well, maybe it wasn’t intentionally suggestive, but lets just call it…dainty. Yeah, that’s what it was. Them dudes were dainty. Beyonce comes on the radio that’s playing in the background.
“Oooh, girl turn that up. I loves me some Miss B.

The song is Freak’um Dress. These dudes start dancing. Like vogueing. Is that what it’s called? Remember Madonna’s backup dancers from the 90’s. That’s what they were doing. I was taken aback, so I moved out of the way as I felt that a flying limb was going to hit me at any moment.

“Put your Freak’um Dress On… Put your Freak’um Dress On…”

Finally, the lady comes back from the copy machine and gives me my check. I say thanks and make a beeline out of the office. One of the maintenance men stops me.
“Did you see them sissies in there?”

I try to keep walking. He is not deterred.

“My man!!! You see them??? Them guys were in there twirling around and ish? They need a woman to straighten them out.”

“I don’t think they like women.” And kept it moving.

I always hated that song.