NaBloPoMo Is My B*tch

That's right, folks! 30 days. 30 blog posts. Done! I laugh in the face of those who thought I couldn't do it. HA! I didn't let anything stop me. Not crazy work which stopped me from blogging from the office. Not being out of town for 9 days, and having to use Jameil's computer. Not momentary blogger's block. I kilt (yes, I said kilt!!!) this daily posting thing. And I didn't even have to resort to recycled tags and memes. Shout out to all those that did it with me. Jameil of course can't stop, won't stop. Diva did it despite our almost daily good natured hate. Ms Behaving just about did it, I'll give you a pass for that one day because from once a week, to nearly daily blogging is a big thing. And everybody else who I'm forgetting right now. You made blogging fun again. No more dreading pulling up the page and trying to come up with something to write about. I'm back in the blogging groove. Since I'm not one for empty promises, I won't make any grand declarations about how I'm going to I'll keep this up all the time. Instead, I'll just ride this wave for as long as I can. But I will say this...

Who's down for December? I'm gonna commit to daily blogging for December too. Any takers?

Back To Life, Back To Reality

Soul II Soul 1990 -




I actually had that cd. I got it from one of those cd clubs that you paid a penny and got 13 cds, then they kept billing you until you cancelled. That was a glorious day when I got 13 cds in the mail for the first time. I had all kind of eclectic artists in my collection. Anyway, the point of the post was tomorrow I have to get back to life and back to reality. I'm not ready. I've been away from work, away from Atlanta, away from my apt since last Saturday. I really hope I remembered to turn off the heat when I left, otherwise its gonna be warm as a mug when I get back. Yes, I have central heat, but it doesn't turn off like its supposed to when it reaches a certain temp. It just stays hot until I manually turn it off. I also hope I remembered to take out the trash. That would be pretty awful to come home to week old trash. I actually remember doing that, so scratch that. I've gotten really used to be around Jameil 24/7 so its going to suck to not be there with her. We had lots of fun and ate really good and hung out with a bunch of different people in different locations. Now that's a vacation. Tomorrow, it's over.. wish me luck. I'm going to try avoiding the cliche about needing a vacation from my vacation but if I can't promise that wont show up on Facebook tomorrow. I apologize in advance for my corniness.

Okay, I guess I should finish packing and hug on Jameil some more and then hit the road. Talk to y'all tomorrow.

He Get It From His Mama, Who In Turn Got It From Her Mama

What could I possibly be talking about? My stubborn streak. I always think I'm right, and so does my mom, and so does my grandma. I've always known that they had to have things there way, but I never put 2 and 2 together to see that that's where I get if from. My grandma is known for answering the question "why" with a no. Like it wasn't a yes or no question, I was trying to get to the root of the situation. Her response of "no!" just shuts the whole discussion down. It's like how dare I have an opinion that's not kept to myself. Sure, I may be 35, but she'll be 85 next month. I should know better.

My mom is the same way. She gets these thoughts in her head and wont let them go no matter what anybody else says. This weeks topic was getting a birthday card for my nephew/brother Nate. You may recall from about 20 days ago, Nate hanging up on me when I called to tell him Happy Birthday. Well, apparently a call isn't enough. "He needs a card." Let me tell you about me: I don't remember to send cards. Even if I buy it a month in advance, you wont ever get it. Either I don't have stamps, or I leave it on the table next to the door and forget to take it out. Out of all the family this year, I only got one nephew a card b/c I actually went to his birthday party. If we were waiting for mail... never would have got it. I tried telling her that. Nope it didn't work. "Nate is important, he deserves a card." Okay, men don't really care about cards. You always signed Will's name, and before that my father's name to the card. We just don't think about that kind of stuff. Argument rejected... "get him a card." Okay, I'll get him a card, but don't expect me to remember all the time. I'm just not wired that way. And what about that phone call? It would never fly if I was to hang up on Uncle Alan, so why is it no big deal when he hangs up on me. "He's nine." I know he's nine.. that's old enough to not be rewarded for bad behavior. Again, if I hung up on my uncle, there would have been consequences and repercussions. Just get him a card. Okay, but don't think because I didn't get him a card, that means I don't care. I didn't get anyone a card. You know what - this conversation is going nowhere. I can be as stubborn as my mom, but I don't think I can out stubborn her. Let me just end this conversation...

I realized I get it from my mama, who got from her mama. I wonder if she got from her mama...

I Once Had An Awkward Moment Just To See How It Feels

Actually I had 2 just yesterday:

Awkward Moment #1:

So, we are hanging out after dinner yesterday. Me and Jameil, my brother and his wife talking about something or another. One of my mother's husbands daughters was there too, although not in the conversation at all. All of a sudden she looks at me and Jameil and says .. "Did someone say wedding bells?" EXCUSE ME!!! Who in the world was talking about that? And good thing I'm not some commitment phobic person, and good thing Jameil is not a crazy marriage pushing shrew, b/c that could made for a very uncomfortable moment. As it was, it was an awkward moment. Thanks, mom's husband daughter for that moment.

Awkward Moment #2:

Jameil and I are staying at my moms house for Thanksgiving. I had no idea of the sleeping arrangements, but I knew we wouldn't be sleeping in the same room. See, not only did we think it would be weird, from past experiences, I knew my mom doesnt play that. When my sister was pregnant with my first nephew, her and her ex husband weren't married yet. Even though they were engaged, with a baby on the way, they couldn't stay in the same room. So, last night I ask my mom where we should sleep. She says, we can take the boy's room (my nephews.) They have twin beds. "You can push them together or not..." WHAT!?! - Did you just suggest that your unmarried son and his hot girlfriend sleep together under your roof? Another awkward moment! And just for the record, no we did NOT push the beds together.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. We were supposed to get up an hour ago and drive to Savannah to hang with my family, but umm errr.. you see that didn't happen. Jameil is in there washing dishes, and I'm typing a blog post. Eventually, we'll get on the road and I'll get to see my grandmother who I haven't seen in 8 months. And we'll get to have a our non traditional Thanksgiving dinner. I don't know what is on the menu this year, but I do know it involves shrimp and oysters to go along with the turkey and/or ham. I'm getting hungry just thinking about my grandma's mac and cheese. I should probably get off the computer and make sure I'm ready to go when Jameil gets finished, so I'll end this now. I hope everybody has a wonderful day and is thankful for something in their lives. Wait - I just thought of something. Remember a couple years ago when people would do Thankful Thursdays on their blogs? If not, basically every thursday they would say I am thankful for... family, friends, etc? I HATED THAT!!! It was a cute idea at first, but then everybody would be thankful for the same things every week. I mean, sure you can be thankful that God blessed you with great friends you love,  but do I have to hear about it every week? Or other people would use it as a way to take shots at other people passive-aggressively. Like "I'm thankful that I'm not so cynical that Thankful Thursday means nothing to me." Why they gotta talk about me on the sly? LOL I don't know why that popped in my head, and now I'm sure somebody who likes inspirational posts is going to bring it back and it'll be all my fault. Anyway.. like I said, let me get up out of here and go see my fam. Happy Thanksgiving!!!

The Can't Sleep Randoms

1. Is it wrong that I have my ringer off on my phone and would just prefer people send me a happy b'day on facebook than actually call or text me?

2. Why are both Jimmy Swaggert and Jim Bakker still on TV? And at the same time on different channels? Weird to me.

3. I've gotten a lot more rational about sports - except the New York Knicks. What I mean is that previously I would be ready to curse out the entire Falcon's organization for being 5-5, now I'm like oh well. The Knicks still get the full wrath of my fandom.

4. I don't understand why people interact with celebs on Twitter. They got 376,332 followers. Do you think they are going to respond to each message? And if they do, that doesn't mean that you are actually friends.

5. Just a thought... when vegetarians talk about being ethical to animals, do they ever think that animals would not be ethical to us if given the chance. I mean, its a food chain for a reason. They would totally eat us and not think twice about it.

6. I was watching "Lopez Tonight" the other night with the stone face. That dude is just not funny to me. But at least he has lots of latino and black guests.

7. By now, everybody knows I'm old. And everybody knows I have a crazy musical memory. The other day at Jameil's classmate's party they were playing some old 80's pop music. I was pretty much identifying all the songs and thinking I need to add them to my iPod. I'm about to have a crazy mix of hip hop, British glam rock, hair bands, doo-wop, emo alternative,  and books on tape on my iPod. I'll listen to pretty much anything but country. Actually, by the time I get back home to my computer, I'm going to forget to download all this music again.

8. I know they are film students, but Jameil's classmates don't talk about ANYTHING other than movies. I've seen a good bit of movies too, so I did join in, but I was wondering what else they could possibly incorporate into the conversations.

9. I asked this on Facebook a couple of weeks ago, but nobody could/would give me an answer so I'll try again: What qualifies a person to be called a prophet or prophetess. And no, this is not Rashan being a sarcastic jerk. I actually would like to know.

10. Lady GaGa concerns me.  I just think anybody that tries that hard to be weird, has a dirty secret that is going to come out one day. I think hers is that she used to be and/or is still a man. LOL

11. Paula Deen getting hit in the face by the ham was hilarious to me. Not so much b/c of her getting hit, but b/ of the black guy's reaction. Take a look at bruh. He looked like "I can't believe y'all done hit this white lady in the face."

12. I hate when my birthday is the day before or the day of Thanksgiving. I'll have to curtail the drinking to make sure that I make it to Savannah at a decent hour. I have a tendency to lay around and do nothing instead of getting on the road anyway, so liquor will just make that worse. Oh well. I'm not a drunk like I used to be, so I'll be okay.

Who, What, Why, Where

Jameil's favorite thing to say to me is "what are you..." Fill in the blanks. What are you typing? What are you eating? What are you watching on tv? Where are you going? Whose blog are you reading? Why did you leave the lights on? Question after question. Half of the time I don't even answer. It's only if she asks more than once, does she really want an answer. I don't do well with being questioned. I've lived on my own for over a decade, and I'm used to doing things my way. If I want to leave the TV on all night, who cares? I pay the bill. If I drop crumbs on the couch, I'll clean it up eventually. If I choose to watch a stupid tv show, it's my own brain cells I'm killing. No big deal, right?  I can't necessarily do that when I'm at her place for a week. Well, at least not without being questioned...

Something inside me just cringes every time I get asked a question. I know it's a fact of life, but it's definitely something I have to work on. I think it's just because (CHEAP PSYCHOLOGY ALERT:) I've always been a middle child that no one paid attention to. Nobody was worrying about what I was doing. Or (INFLATED SELF WORTH ALERT) it could be that I've always been so independent that my opinion was always the only thing that mattered. I don't know the real answer but I do need to find a way to not let questions bother me, since Jameil and her questions aren't going anywhere.  Either that or I could turn it around and start asking her questions all the time.. Any (non-serious) question suggestions for me? LOL

P.S. - By the time most of you read this, it'll be my 35th birthday! 11/25/1974 - God's "You're Welcome" to the world. LOL!!!

I'll Take Things Black People Don't Do For $800, Alex!

Saturday, as soon as I touched down in Gainesville, Jameil took me to a party that was being held by one of her classmates. It was supposed to be a vegetarian barbecue and home beer brewing party. That's right, one of her classmates likes to brew his own beer. Let me just say upfront, it was a good time. It's just that's some stuff that black people don't do. It was different, that's all. Let us continue in the form of pictures, which will not be in the order I want them to be b/c Macs are stupid or I'm stupid. One way or the other, I cant figure these pics out and Jameil is sleeping right now. Anyway, there's me smelling hops and posing with Jameil. And the rest of the pics are of the beer making process which apparently takes months. I know I don't have the patience for that. I'll just go to the citgo and get me a 6 pack of Yuengling. Enjoy!

  

You May Lie

Remember how when you were a kid, there was always a kid that had a girlfriend who lived by his grandma's house. You know, nobody ever met her, but he swore that she was giving up the booty all summer vacation. Everybody knew he was lying,  but that didn't deter him from sticking to the story.

That's how I feel about some people on the internet. Aside from the obvious liars, there are certain people that I just don't believe. It's not that I'm cynical, its that they don't have offer any evidence to make me think that they are anything more than talented liars. For example, if you are so fine, and dudes always try to get at you, then where's your picture? Why should I give your story any credibility when I can't judge for myself how sexxxy you are? Or if you constantly talk about your significant other, but nobody on Facebook knows what he or she looks like or his/her name?  Or how come every one of your stories sound exactly the same. If you pay attention you can see the same recurring themes over and over again (like with my blog, every story involves some crazy person) I'm not saying you are lying, but you may lie. How do I know? I don't know you.

I guess the reluctance of some people to be forthcoming, and some people being intentionally cryptic got me thinking of this topic. I understand the need for privacy, but if that's how you wanna roll, then perhaps you shouldn't tell all your business on the internet. I don't get it. It just gets me thinking, it may not be real. Some of you may lie.

Why You Bringing Up Old Stuff?

I got my haircut this morning and there was this dude that was bringing up the OLDEST gossip in the world. The thing about it..nobody was listening to him. Nobody was engaging the conversation. He just was talking and talking and talking... I have to hit the road before Jameil curses me out, so I'll just jump right to it, instead of giving you a long rambling preamble like I usually do. Here are some old stuff he brought up.

"You know Johnny Gill is ghey. All those good songs he had, and he was singing about a man. You know he and Eddie Murphy are ghey together." (Did you just discover the internet and find a gossip site from 2 years ago?)

"Ol R. Kelly got away with that statutory case. Did you see the video?Did he really pee on that poor girl? (How long ago did he get acquitted? Even Chappelle's skit was like 5 years ago.)

"You know, Rick Ross is fake. He was a prison guard. And Plies went to college. How you gonna go to college and be a goon." (Obviously, he's never heard of FAMU -  take that Stace and Aretha. LOL)

"Gucci Mane going to jail again. You know him and Jeezy got beef. Gucci shot one of Jeezy's homeboys." (Yeah, back in like 5 years ago, before anybody outside of Atlanta knew who they were. How is that relevant to him going to jail now?)

"Bobby Brown got a bunch of kids out there." (Who was talking about Bobby Brown?)

The Exclamation Point Post!!!

Son, I’m on vacation for a week!!! I need this in my life!!! I need to not come to work for a week!!! Time to get my mind right for one glorious week!! Nope, scratch that; Let’s count the weekends and say I’m outta here for 9 days!!! What am I gonna do? Well, first I’m going to drive home and wash my dishes and take out my trash, so when I get home I don’t have bugs and funk in my residence. But then I’m going to Florida to see my Jameil, (not the fake Jameil LOL!!!) Don’t know what I’m going to do, but I imagine I’ll rest and relax and eat good, and drink up her red stripe. Red Stripe – HOORAY BEER!!! Then my birthday is on Wednesday!!! I already told you how I felt about that, but whatever I do I’m sure it’ll be fun!!! Thanksgiving, Jam and I are going to drive to Savannah to hang with my family!!! She already knows everybody, except my grandma, so I’m happy for them to finally meet!!! Maybe I’ll take her on the Rashan tour, of all the places I almost got shot, or where I was drunk, or where I was smoked out!!! Nah, that’ll take too long. So maybe I’ll just take her on campus and to Paula Deen’s restaurant, although I may be way too full after Wednesday to want to go there!!!

Honestly, I don’t really care what I do as long as I don’t have to go to work!!! Did I mention I need this!?!? Hopefully I come back refreshed and raring to go, but more than likely I’ll still hate everything and everyone at this place when I get back!!! I’ll still be posting everyday even on vacation. I sure am not going to lose this posting everyday competition to the likes of Diva and Ms. Behaving!!! LOL!!! Just kidding ladies. You know I just said that to get you mad!!! (MA$E – 1994). Anyway, I’m so out of here!!! Be cool!!!!

Le Faux Jameil

I have a fake Jameil working at my office. I first met Le Faux Jameil sometime earlier this year. I was training a new hire class at the time. It was weird, because I had never met another person named Jameil before, although Le Faux Jameil spells it a little different. It's still pronounced the same way. When we met, I remember telling Le Faux Jameil about my girlfriend with the same name and being taken aback by the response.

"I bet she ain't as cute as me."

WRONG!!! Anyway, unwanted flirtatiousness aside, Le Faux Jameil was annoying, never paying attention in class. I would often observe Le Faux Jameil manicuring nails with a fingernail file, rather than learning. It had been awhile since I had met somebody so wrapped up in their appearance with so little reason. LFJ was constantly applying this strawberry scented lotion, and was always smoothing down freshly arched eyebrows. One day, Le Faux Jameil was wearing a head scarf in class. When I asked why, I got the following response.

"I don't wanna mess up my hair before I go to the club tonight!"

I couldn't even say anything. If that's how you want to do it, far be it for me to try to stop you. Another day, LFJ came to work wearing this black coat from Express. How did I know that's where it's from? Because I had gotten The Real Jameil the same coat for Christmas.

"Yo, I got my girl that same coat for Christmas!" I told a fellow trainer that day after class.

"You better not say anything. You know Le Faux Jameil is digging you. Might take it as a sign that you are meant to be together"

"See.. you ain't even right. LFJ ain't thinking about me."

I was just trying to play it off. The last thing I needed was another coworker trying to get at me. I've had more than my share of that. Especially one with the same name and clothes as my girl. I wasn't trying to be part of no "Single Black Female" joint. But for the rest of the class, I tried to avoid eye contact with LFJ as much as possible. Better safe than sorry. After training was over, I would occasionally see, and subsequently avoid Le Faux Jameil. But without fail, I would.

"Heeeey, Rah-shan!'

Nobody calls me by real name at work. I'm always Shawn, or Ruh-shan, or Rashad. But Le Faux Jameil did. I would always be polite, but try to end the conversation real quick. I wanted no parts of encouraging anyone. The other day, I was walking by LFJ's desk and saw a picture...of LFJ! Word up, I wish I could take a picture of this mess. LFJ is topless (tastefully) with the "me so sexy face" on. Who puts pictures like that of themselves on their own desk at work? And why does everybody think they can model? Ish just looks ridiculous.

Oh, I forgot to tell you. Le Faux Jameil... is a dude! Only in Atlanta.

I Crack Myself Up

 You know what? I crack myself up. I was supposed to be writing a new post but I some how got distracted reading my old blog. I'm a funny mother hubbard (as my mom once said instead of quoting the mf word.) We'll call this my lazy post of the week. Jameil and Diva, I know you've already read these, so just go ahead and tell me how wack I am for posting links (even though you may or may not have posted a video and/or recipe as your Wednesday post. LOL) After all, the blog is titled "Rashan Revisited" so go ahead and revisit those links. At the very least, I've given you one less blog to read today. LOL

http://rashansbeatsrhymesandlife.blogspot.com/2008/08/masterpiece-theatre-not.html


http://rashansbeatsrhymesandlife.blogspot.com/2007/11/swagger.html


http://rashansbeatsrhymesandlife.blogspot.com/2008/12/open-letter-to-president-elect-obama.html

http://rashansbeatsrhymesandlife.blogspot.com/2008/09/peoples-court.html

http://rashansbeatsrhymesandlife.blogspot.com/2008/01/bet-presidential-debate-08-part-2.html

Backlash*

*I'm just thinking out loud. No need to be worried about me.

One of the drawbacks of having a strong opinion is that people don’t like people with strong opinions. It seems to happen to me at all my jobs. I go from being the quiet one, to the golden boy, to the uppity problematic negro. I don’t necessarily know why it keeps happening. I don’t think I’m changing that much, but invariably at some point in my employment, there comes a backlash.




I think I’ve reached that point in my current job. Without going into too much detail, it seems that lately I can’t do anything right. Whereas it used to be appreciated when I spoke up, now it’s like please stay in your lane. Where management used to seek me out to get the pulse of the other associates, not it’s like my input is the last thing they want to hear. And it’s not like I’m overreacting. I gave that some thought, and no that’s not it. I’ve tried the aggressive approach, I’ve tried the political correct approach, I’ve spoken up in meetings to no avail. I’ve written intentionally soft emails to no avail. I keep getting the same responses: Thank you for your input, but we’re not going to actually listen to you. Sometimes, they are defensive that I actually had the gall to question them, and sometimes they are downright rude. I mean cutting me off in mid sentence or responding in a snarky manner in email. It sucks.



There’s the backlash. It always seems to hit me. I’m a laid back person, and I don’t really understand how I can go from hero to goat so quickly. I need a new job like yesterday. I don’t like being in a bad mood when I come home from work. I don’t like even giving this place a second thought after I leave the parking lot. And I sure don’t get paid enough to be stressed out. Maybe I’ll try to be just a mindless drone and see if that works. Yeah, that probably won’t do. One thing I’m not willing to compromise is my opinion.

Birthday Boring

I’ve become birthday boring. I have less than 10 days to the blessed event and to be honest, I don’t really care. I was way more excited with a month to go than I am now. I don’t have any set in stone plans, and I am not actively seeking any. It’s a big one, you only turn 35 once, right? So, why don’t I really care if I stay at home and do nothing. I had grandiose plans of having a big time party. One where I would invite my co workers, my associates, and any bloggers that happened to be in the area. I was going to be mad liquored up, drunk dancing, picture taking, maybe even stripper tipping. But now, ehhh?

I get like this every year as my birthday approaches. It’s not like I’m depressed, its just a sense of apathy takes over. In my mind I think, my birthday is so close to Thanksgiving, that everybody will be with their families. Or if they aren’t do I really want to hang out with them? And if I do, then what do I do? Go to a club? Nah, I’m not a clubbing type. I already got my club quota out of my system on New Years. Do I have a house party? Nah, I don’t want all them people up in my space. There are very few people that actually know where I live and I’d like to keep it that way. Go on a trip? Yeah, that sounds good, but I’m going to have to be in Savannah at least the day after anyway, so that’s out.

So, then what? I guess I’ll just be birthday boring. No need for parties, or revelry. Just me and the people that I’m close to and I’ll be fine. It’s not most people’s ideal birthday, but it works for me. I’m already one up on the last 5 years since I already have a birthday gift. I don’t need much more. Well, maybe just a drink or three.

Hunger

For most of my life, I've not really experienced hunger. I usually go from full to starving. That level of being hungry usually escapes me. As a result, I typically don't eat breakfast, don't each lunch, but eat a big dinner. I know what you are going to say. That's not good. It's bad for my metabolism, bad for me. I know you were going to say that because people have been telling me that for years. Girlfriends have tried to break me out of this one time a day eating thing without much success. Jameil has been trying to change that since the beginning of our relationship to no avail. I just don't get hungry and when I'm not hungry I don't eat. It's not something I do intentionally. It just works out that way.

Fast forward to this week. Yo, I've been hungry way more often this week than usual. In the middle of the day, I've been wanting to eat. I hate eating at work because it gives me the itis, but not this week. I ate lunch 3 out the 4 days I worked this week. And Saturday, I ate 3 times. That's virtually unheard of unless someone is cooking for me. Right now, I'm hungry, but I don't have anything to eat, and I can't leave until the Falcon's game is over. I don't know if I like this new trend. It's going to seriously impact my grocery store budget. If I'm going to eat more often I need to make sure that doesn't make me go get fast food all the time. But if it makes me healthier I'm good with that. And as an added bonus, maybe one day soon Jameil will get to stop asking "what did you eat today?"

Feet

My feet are disgusting. Not in a stinky, smelly way, but in a horribly white, dry skin, thick nasty curved toenail way. I should probably be embarrassed to write that sentence but I'm not. It's just a fact of life. And it's not like I plan on wearing sandals or frolicking barefoot in the grass anytime soon. Most of the time I don't even think about my feet until I go to cut my nails. That's what I did this morning.

My big toenails don't grow straight and are extremely difficult to cut. There's no cutting evenly with these things. One side is down low, the other side up high. It looks like Bobby Brown's haircut in the "Every Little Step" video.  My little toenails are long and rubbery and equally as difficult to cut. On top of that, they are like one big cuticle. It's really strange and ugly. I should probably get a pedicure one day, but I doubt that'll happen. I think that I would need a pre-pedicure pedicure. (BTW, I've wrapped my head around men getting manicures, but pedicures still seems a little ghey. LOL) I can imagine the scene if I went to the local nail shop around the corner from my crib..

Me: Hey, I need to get a pedicure.
Vietnamese Nail Lady: Come, sit down. Take off shoes.
Me: Okay.
Nail: What that? Those not normal feet. You in accident?
Me: Yeah, they are kinda  messed up.
Nail Lady: (in native language) - Hey everybody look at this black guys feet!!! They look like eagle talons.
Me: What did you say? (other nail techs start gathering and pointing.)
Nail: Oh, nothing. (in native language) He look like his foot died.
Me: For real, what are you saying?
Nail: I have to get industrial strength nail clipper.And vat of acid. and Hazmat suit... (sound of chainsaw in background...)

Okay, by now you all know my imagination runs away with me. I just don't really want strangers touching my feet. Scratch that, I don't want anybody touching my feet. I'm fully aware of how gross they look, and I don't need to see that look of apprehension. You know the look that looks like you just smelled spoiled milk, or saw some roadkill on the highway. That's what the sseing Rashan's toenails face looks like. LOL But today, I soaked my feet, sloughed off some dead skin and managed to cut my toenails. I then put some olive oil on them to moisturize and soften them. I don't expect them to look good, but I'm settling for not frightening. I wish I could say I was going to keep this up, but yeah, that's not gonna happen.

A Post To Make The Ladies Mad

Can you do me a small teensy weeny favor? Stop talking about your menstrual cycles. I don't want to know about it. I don't mean to sound insensitive, but why do strangers need to know about your cramps? I'm not saying suck it up, but I am saying, keep that between you and your immediate family. I can't tell you how many times I've seen stuff about uteruii (I think that should be the plural of uterus) on peoples blogs, twitter, and facebook. I can't tell you how many times at work we'll be having a normal conversation and then some woman changes the subject to her cramps. Come on! Men are around. We don't want to hear all that. It's bad enough that we have deal with the ladies in our lives, can you people who don't really know me spare me the details of your heavy flow days? I know it's necessary for babies and stuff, but can't we just pretend that they come from the stork? Do I have to know the science behind it? 51% of this country are female. Isn't that enough of a group to comiserate with? Can't you trade your period war stories without involving men? Do I tell you about all my bodily functions? Do you hear me talking about my vans deferens? You wanna hear about what comes out of my body? I didn't think so. In conclusion...stop talking about that in mixed company please. Thanks in advance.

Thursday Thirteen: 13 Songs That Get Me Hyped and 13 Songs I Cool Out To

 These are songs that I like to play to set a mood. If I need some energy, I like to hear the first 13. If I need to chill for awhile, I like to hear the second 13. Click on the name of the song for the YouTube link. After reading my list, why don't you tell me some of your hype or cool out songs?

13 Songs That Get Me Hyped:

1. Glaciers of Ice - Raekwon
2. Get By (Remix) - Talib Kweli
3. Bombs Over Baghdad - Outkast
4. Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
5. Childrens Story - Slick Rick
6. Scarred - Luke
7. Not Just Knee Deep - Parliament/Funkadelic
8. Nas Is Like - Nas
9. Jigga, That Nigga - Jay-Z
10. Whoo Haa!!! - Busta Rhymes
11.Ante Up (Robbin Hood Theme) - MOP
12. Juice (Know the Ledge) - Eric B and Rakim
13.Craziest - Naughty By Nature

13 Songs That I Cool Out To:

1. Orange Moon - Erykah Badu
2. Getting Late - Floetry
3. The Root - D'Angelo
4. I Miss You - Harold Melvin and The Blue Notes
5. Cowboys and Angels - George Michael
6. Cry For You - Jodeci
7. Cherish The Day -  Sade
8. My Life - Mary J Blige
9. Cry Together - The O Jays
10. Walk On By -  Isaac Hayes
11. Can't Help It. - Michael Jackson
12.A Long Walk - Jill Scott
13.Voyage To Atlantis - The Isley Brothers

Butts Up

When I was in elementary school, we used to play this crazy game called Butts Up. When I think about it now, I can't believe the teachers let us get away with it. It was pretty sadistic, in a harmless way, and kind of inappropriate. It went a little something like this.

First you need a huge brick wall, like the one we had at Elmwood Elementary School in Spring Valley, New York. The back side of the school had a huge wall with a grass field behind it. That's where we had recess. There were also swings and other playground equipment, but the grass field is where we played kickball, football and of course Butts Up. Next you need a group of rambunctious children hopped up on candy and chocolate milk. You could play with as little as 4 kids, but on good days we had 25-30. The last thing you needed was a tennis ball. For some reason, we used tennis balls for many sports we played, but we never played tennis. For baseball and catch and Kill The Carrier we used tennis balls, tennis never even crossed our minds...

Once you have those elements, you are ready to start the game. One kid would throw the ball against the brick wall, and the rest of the kids would try to field it. You could catch it after a bounce, or you could catch it in the air. But the important thing was, if your hand touched the ball, you had to catch it. If you dropped it, then you were considered out. If you threw the ball and someone caught it before bouncing, you were considered out. You never wanted to be "out" because that's when the game of Butts Up earned it's name.

If you were out, you had to stand against the brick wall, hands over your head gripping the wall and butt up in the air in the "I'm getting arrested" position. Then, everybody left in the game got to take turns throwing the tennis ball...AT YOUR BUTT!!! Let me say this again. 20 kids got to take turns throwing the tennis ball directly AT YOUR BUTT!!! What in our little pre pubescent brains allowed us to come up with such a crazy game? Why would we willing stand against a wall while other kids try to hurt you with a tennis ball coming at high velocity towards your butt? Because it was fun.

I was a beast at this game. I used to be able to catch anything that came in my direction. And when I was my turn to throw at someone who was out? I would cock back my arm and throw as hard as I could. You had some kids that would lob the ball slowly to make sure they didn't miss, but not the kid. I was like a left handed Dwight Gooden (who was my favorite pitcher back in the days for the New York Mets), sometimes I was wild and inaccurate, but if I hit you, you knew it. It didn't matter if you were my best friend or my worst enemy. The game of Butt's Up was about pain and every kid for himself.

We would play Butts Up until there was one kid standing or, as was more likely to happen, recess was over. We rarely had a winner, especially when we had a lot of kids around. The game just took too long, and there was always one kid that stalled when it was his turn to grab the wall. Or kids would argue that they never touched the ball, and shouldn't be out.We needed instant replay for our Butts Up games. Sometimes, the gym teacher would serve as referee for us, but most of the time we would just enforce the rules ourselves. Either way, Butts Up was a lot of fun. What a crazy game for kids to make up!

#Score,#Fail

For all my twitter fiends. I actually hate Twitter, but find the trending topics and hash tags intriguing. Thus, this post...If you don't use Twitter, you can still follow along.

#score – Going on a road trip with Jameil.
#Fail – getting to Daytona and realizing it’s a pretty skeevy looking place.

#score – not having to wake up early to drive to Daytona like I thought we would.
# fail – not knowing what the plan was for much of the day.

#score - Ocean Walk Hilton 4 star hotel for $50
#fail – Ocean Walk Hilton putting 4 different holds on my card for God knows what?

#score – going to an HBCU football game (Hampton vs. Bethune Cookman). HBCU alumni, represent!!!
# fail – remembering the poor quality of HBCU football games. I forgot that’s why I only went to Homecoming at Savannah State.

#score – spectacular view from the hotel window. It was really calming watching the ocean from the 11th floor.
#fail – seeing what the boardwalk around the beach looked like when we finally went downstairs. Cheesy is the word I kept repeating.

#score - hanging out with Adei Von K is always fun.
# fail – hanging out with the other friend always feels uncomfortable.
#score – Delicious Seafood chimichanga and margarita at dinner.
#fail – being the only one still awake and wanting to go out after dinner.
#score – The beach! Jameil loves the beach.
# fail – high tide leaving like 4 inches of actual beach and then spending like only 5 minutes walking on the beach.
#score – A plethora of restaurants in our hotel. We love breakfast!
#fail – A plethora of restaurants in our hotel, but they were all overpriced. Let’s just go to Cracker Barrel.. (My holiday sampler was bangin’ with the cinnamon biscuit, and the apples and all the different types of meat… and the biscuits and gravy. I never had biscuits and gravy before and it was GREAT! I know, I’m a fake Southerner.)

#score – 5 days with Jameil!
#fail – having to leave to go back to stupid work! Can’t wait til the 21st, when we get to do it again.

Rashan, The Surprise Ruiner!

Rashan, The Surprise Ruiner
Scene: Gainesvile, Florida
Time 11/03/2009 – 12:53 PM

Jameil left her computer at home for me while she went to lunch with one of her professors. She called and asked me to look something up on her computer. As I closed her Firefox, and went to pull up Safari (so we wouldn’t have to keep signing each other in and out of blogger, facebook, twitter, email, etc…), I saw a notepad open on her computer. I didn’t mean to look, but it was right there. I was still on the phone with her and since I have no kind of filter with her, I said the first thing that crossed my mind.

“I think I saw something I was not supposed to see.”

Oops, why did I say that? I should have just kept it in and pretended to be surprised. But the cat was out of the bag. Luckily she had to go, so it would give me some time to come up with a cover story. Unfortunately, at around 2:00, all hopes for that cover story went out the door. There was knock on the door.

“Package for Jameil.”

I signed for it, and saw who it was from. Immediately I knew what it was. It was my birthday gift. There was no pretending I didn't see it, since I actually signed for it. She got me an ipod to replace the one that I lost. I didn’t mean to ruin the surprise, but I’m so glad that I did. I got my birthday gift 3 weeks early! Sorry, but not really sorry!

Since No One Will Be Reading On A Sunday

I should take this opportunity to say all the things that I've been holding in during the week for one reason or another.

Things like how I'm so glad the guy that shot up the army base was NOT black. Or what I think about a particular blogger padding his/her comments with fake comments. Or how I crack up every time I see a commercial for the pharmaceutical drug Aciphex.. (sound it out...LOL)

But I'm not going to do that. I'm just going to say this counts as a NaBloPoMo post (#8) and say Happy Sunday.

The Phone Call

Day 7 of NaBloPoMo

My sister texted me to remind me that it was my nephew/brother Nate's birthday the other day. So, I called him to wish him a happy one... The call went something like this.

Me: Hey, Can I speak to Nate...

Nikki: Yeah, hold on!

Nate (in the background): Why does everybody keep calling me?

Nikki: Because they want to tell you Happy Birthday.

Nate: Hi, Uncle Rashan.

Me: Happy Birthday, Nate!

Nate: You should get me a gift!

Me: Really? What do you want?

Nate: A car. I want a Mustang.

Me: You mean like a toy car, right?

Nate: Yes, Uncle Rashan.. Okay, I'm losing contact..

Me: Huh?

Nate: I'm losing contact. Call back later! *click*

Me: Did this little bas kid just hang up on me?

Yes, he did. Ol 9 year old jerk!!!

Selfish*

Day 6 of NaBloPoMo

That's what I am by nature. I like what I want when I want it. That's a bit of a problem when I'm in Florida with Jameil. See, she is selfish too. She also wants what she wants when she wants it. Living on my own for so long, I'm all about instant gratification. If I'm hungry, I eat. If I want to watch something on Tv, I turn the channel. If I want to use my computer, I don't have to wait. I'm not really good at sharing. Well, that's not true. I'll share my stuff, but I'm not good at sharing other people's stuff. I think I just feel way more comfortable with my own stuff.

 If I was home yesterday, things would have been different. Instead of waiting to see if Jameil would cook as she said she would, I would just get me some pop tarts or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. As it turned out, there was no cooking going on, so I just stayed hungry all night. This morning, we went back and forth on whether we would cook breakfast or go out. At first I was going to cook, then we were going to go out, then we were going to cook, then we were going to go out. It got to the point where I was no longer even hungry. I'm strange like that. If I don't eat when I first feel hunger, then it goes away. By the time I went to Burger King, I wasn't even hungry anymore, but I forced myself to eat.
I can't take the waiting. I need my instant gratification!

I realize that I need my own computer on my visits down here. We just keep wanting to use the computer at the same time. And of course, since it belongs to her, Jameil wins. I'll be reading a page and she'll say "let me check my email," which turns into checking blogs, twitter, facebook pictures, and/or homework. So then I'll find something else to do, like watch TV and she'll say "You ready to watch a movie?" Oh, and that means not now, but RIGHT NOW!!! No lollygagging, no checking my email, no watching the rest of the show I'm watching. See, she is just as selfish as I am.

So, what do you do when two selfish people love each other and have to be in the same space? If you were thinking learn to compromise, you weren't reading carefully. We are both too selfish for that!

* this post has been approved by Jameil, although I'm not quite sure she meant it. LOL

Thursday Thirteen: 13 Crazy Car Issues I've Had

Day 5 of NaBloPoMo

Me and cars don’t get along. Same for the rest of the family. We call it the family curse. I actually drive a pretty old car right now because it’s been working for me better than some of my other cars. Sure I have some issues, but for the most part, nothing catastrophic has taken place. Anyway, here are 13 out of the ordinary problems I’ve had with my cars over the years. Some of the cars were new, some were old. Some problems minor, some problems were major. All of them are annoying.

01. Got a flat tire on the highway, put the spare on drove 50 feet and had a flat spare tire. That day sucked.

02. Lost a bag of ahem parsley ahem under the floorboards. Somehow it got under the carpet and I couldn’t find it for months. I drove around paranoid for awhile until I forgot about.

03. Had a leaky sunroof which made driving in the rain not so much fun.

04. Gear shift came off in my hand. I blame my ex girlfriend who I was trying to teach how to drive a stick. Probably wasn’t really her fault, but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

05. Hit a bird on the way to work one day. It got caught in the grill and would not get out. I had a dead bird in the grill of my car for half a day. Went to lunch and it was gone without a trace. To this day I still don’t know what happened to the bird.

06. Left my car windows open one night in Savannah. The next day I was leaving Savannah State’s campus and saw something out the corner of my eye. It was a flying roach. It flew out the window. Then came another and another and another. It was like a flying roach parade out of my passenger side window.

07. My brother put some alleged gas additive in my car. Next thing I know, the car wouldn’t go over 50 MPH without seizing.

08. Raining in my car. There’s a seam or something between my windshield and the rubber siding that lets water come in.

09 Wires to my cd player coming loose and getting caught on top of the gas pedal making my car lurch forward at a red light.

10. Wires to my cd player coming loose and getting caught under the brake pedal and making it difficult to stop.

11. Interior lights inexplicably turning on in the middle of the night. Then the battery being drained two days in a row.

12. Headlights flickering while driving. This time it was a fuse, but I didn’t even realize I had no lights until a Chatham County Brownie (what we used to call the county police dept back in the day) stopped me.

13. Brakes went out on White Bluff and I smashed into the back of another car. Took the car to the shop and they couldn’t find anything wrong with it. 3 months later, it happened again, but I was able to get the car in gear before I got killed.

Freak'um Dress

Day 4 of NaBloPoMo

 Sunday I go to the leasing office to pay my rent. It’s the first of the month, and this time I was actually prepared as opposed to most months when I forget until the exact last minute and wind up trying to run to the office and end up being late for work while I wait for them to #1 acknowlege me, #2 actually take my check, and #3 give me a copy of the check. Yes I have duplicate checks, but my complex has a history of losing not just checks, but everything. In fact I haven’t had a lease for the last 7 months. Why? Because they lost the paperwork that told them that my lease was up in April, then when they realized, have now lost the lease again. Anyway, that was a very long digression. As I was saying, I went to the office and for once there was actually someone attentive at the desk.

“Hey, I want to pay my rent.”
“Thank you! Would you like a copy?”
“Yes, please”---- I’m so polite.

So, as she is going back to the copy machine, these two guys come in the office. I guess they are in their 20’s and they both have on polos and jeans. One of them has cornrows that are tied up in the back. They speak to no one in particular.

“Heeeeey”

WTF? Did I just hear Wanda? All I needed was for one of them to say “For real tho?”

They continued.

“I’m gonna get me some candy. She always has the best candy on her desk.”

“Oooooh, she musta went twick or tweeting. She got that fire candy.”

The lady comes back to the desk and says hi to the guys. I guess they are friends or at the very least friendly. She doesn’t have my check copy in her hand. The two guys put lollipops in their mouths suggestively. Well, maybe it wasn’t intentionally suggestive, but lets just call it…dainty. Yeah, that’s what it was. Them dudes were dainty. Beyonce comes on the radio that’s playing in the background.
“Oooh, girl turn that up. I loves me some Miss B.

The song is Freak’um Dress. These dudes start dancing. Like vogueing. Is that what it’s called? Remember Madonna’s backup dancers from the 90’s. That’s what they were doing. I was taken aback, so I moved out of the way as I felt that a flying limb was going to hit me at any moment.

“Put your Freak’um Dress On… Put your Freak’um Dress On…”

Finally, the lady comes back from the copy machine and gives me my check. I say thanks and make a beeline out of the office. One of the maintenance men stops me.
“Did you see them sissies in there?”

I try to keep walking. He is not deterred.

“My man!!! You see them??? Them guys were in there twirling around and ish? They need a woman to straighten them out.”

“I don’t think they like women.” And kept it moving.

I always hated that song.

What's It Called???

DAY 3 of NaBloPoMo

Jameil does this thing when she’s talking where she forgets what she is saying and says “What's it called?” Like I’m supposed to know the words that are coming out of her mouth before they actually come out. She’ll be telling a story, and get to the climax and forget what’s coming next… Here’s an example…

So, I was at the party and this Albino walked up to me with a pack of now and laters, a ST Ides bottle, and a jar of Dark and Lovely. Then he says ----- What's it called?”

It’s hilarious, and really cute. After a couple of years of conversation with Jameil, I’m used to it. I know that it’s coming and if I just wait silently, she’ll figure out what she wants to say. But the other day, I decided that I would try to help out. (Intense sarcasm intended.) I actually decided that I would say something completely unrelated to what she was talking about the next time she broke into “what's it called..”

Like if she was telling me about something that happened in class, I would interject with something random like “Cuban Missile Crisis.” Or if she was talking about how the Florida Gators beat down the Georgia Bulldogs, I would say “Alex Rodriguez.”  It has absolutely nothing to do with what she was talking about. That’s what makes it funny to me. And she actually laughed at the absurdity of my statements too.  You should try it one day.

The next time some gets stuck in their thought and says “what was I saying?”, you should chime in with “you were telling me about your pet gerbil, Montavious.” Or the next time some says “What his name?” and you know you have no idea who they are talking about, mention the name of your 7^th grade biology teacher. If the person is a good sport like Jameil, they’ll laugh with you. If they aren’t and get mad at you, then at least you don’t have to hear them drone on about it anymore. It’s a win-win. LOL

BET That

DAY 2 of NaBloPoMo

I may be in the minority of bloggers, but I don’t really have a problem with BET. Obviously, I’m not in their target demographic anymore, so I don’t really watch too much, but as a whole, I don’t really see it as being as much of an embarrassment as a lot of people profess to.

Here’s the thing. The programming could be better. You’ll get no argument from me about that. It would be nice if they didn’t show horrible stereotypical movies and retreaded sitcoms all the time. And it would be nice if there were more diversity in their video selection. But it is what it is. I realize that the stuff that I like is rarely popular, and for a cable network to prosper (if they are, I don’t know what kind of ratings they get) they have to appeal to a wider audience than just me. Say what you will about it, they show what the silent masses want to see. Maybe they show too much of it, but I can’t fault them for doing it.

Let’s talk about some of their programming. For every critic of the “misogynistic” rap videos, there is someone that is going to tune in to see them. And these same songs that BET gets slammed for playing are the same songs you hear at the club, or on a ringtone or pulsating through car speakers. It begs the question, is BET responsible for the low quality of the music, or is the music (and the listener by extension) responsible for the low quality of BET? It seems a double standard to me to hold the network to a higher standard than you would hold yourself while sipping Patron on the dance floor. Bottom line is the masses like it. I don’t see anything wrong with BET providing it.

These movies they show are wack too. How many variations of BarberShop/Beauty Salon/Nora’s Hair Salon can there be? I would never willing watch these B movies that they show, much less with them being edited and having commercial breaks. But you know what? Check out your homey’s dvd collection and I bet they got movies like this. Check out what bootlegs your aunt has  and I bet you’ll find a bunch of Vivica Fox and Monique movies. Black people like watching movies with black people in them. That’s what BET does. They show these movies. I imagine they can’t cost a lot to get the rights for, and people watch them. Again, I can’t fault BET for doing what the people want.

Finally, let’s talk about the awards shows. You always hear people talking junk about how ghetto they are. And they are right. (I had a facebook friend who called the BET HIpHop Awards, the EBT awards. Hilarious.) But where else are you going to get to see the people that you listen to, dance to, vibe with? Yes, Kanye is universal, but you aren’t gonna see Gucci Mane with a blinged out whisk performing on Saturday Night Live. You aren’t going to see Keri Hilson on a non BET function. These are big stars in our community, and the BET Awards are the only place they can shine. I again feel the need to add the disclaimer that I don’t like that crap either, but I’m glad there is an opportunity for urban, non crossed over artists to get some props. And plus, a lot of people that talk poorly about the shows,  are steady watching them, tweeting and facebooking about them the whole time. So, yeah, its ghetto, but we still watch.

Let’s talk about BET. People accuse it of coonery. True. But so is Tyler Perry if you ask me. So is For The Love of Ray J, So is that preacher with the borderline pimp suit that always tries to hustle your last dollar. It’s all a minstrel show these days. And truth be told, if half of what came on these other channels had black people in it, it would be called cooning too. Tila Tequila – Vietnamese Coon! Brett Michaels- White Coon. Ugly Betty – Latina coon.  Making a fool of yourself is not the sole domain of BET. It’s all over TV. When I think about it, I don’t really like BET, but I have to stop short of calling it an embarrassment. It’s entertainment, pure and simple.  I don’t expect you to agree with me. If you do or don’t, let me know in the comments. Peace.

Treat or Trick - A Belated Halloween Post

I'm participating in National Blog Posting Month - where I intend to post every day for the month of November. Let's hope I can actually do it, since I've been slacking on the blogging for the last 6 months. Hopefully this will get me back in the habit... Day 1!

Treat:

I remember the good old days of Halloween. We would go to school dressed in our costumes and just wait for the minutes to slowly trickle down so we can go trick or treating. That was just about the most fun day of the year, next to Christmas. Me and my pack always cleaned up on the Halloween candy. We would start at the front of our apartment complex while it was still light out, and then make our way through every building until our pillowcases (because bags weren’t big enough) were full of candy. Then we would go across the street to another apartment complex and do the same thing. We had mad sugar. Now, there was no way my mom was going to let me keep all the candy I got, but it didn’t really matter. There was a sort of thrill to just getting as much as I could. Also, I would pick out the good stuff before I got home and hide them to make sure Mom didn’t throw that away. My favorites were smarties, sweettarts, ring pops and nerds. Oh and this rock candy thing that they used to sell in New York. Oh and Pixie Sticks. Oh and.. okay, I’m going crazy reminiscing about it now. The only ones that I really didn’t like were those nasty rubber DOTS. And candy corn? I didn’t start appreciating that until I got older. It probably had to do with the fact that the word corn doesn’t go with candy.  I didn’t care if those got thrown away.  Me and my friends used to trade candy like it was stock. I’ll give you 2 reeses peanut butter cups for that watermelon blow pop” I tell you those were the good old days.

Trick:

Then as I got older, Halloween became more about mischief than candy. I think I was about 15 one Halloween when me and my boys decided that we would go out and start some trouble. We weren’t bad kids, but for one night we wanted to trick instead of treats. Me, Ashley, Ira, Shane met up outside the Walmart right down the street from my school. It’s a Staples now, but back then it was the hangout spot. We got  a bunch of eggs and  toilet paper and waited for Don to pick us up in his F150. By the time he got there we were ready!!! First stop, our high school. At first I was too scared, but one of the homeys wasn’t and lobbed some eggs at the front door of our school. Buoyed by this experience, we took our show on the road. In the nearby subdivision, we walked along the streets as Don drove slowly nearby. Occasionally we would toss eggs at houses, or throw toilet paper in the trees and then run around the corner. It was fun...at first. The plan was to hop in the truck if it looked like there would be trouble, but apparently Don saw the trouble coming before we did. He yelled "Run!!!" and peeled off down Windsor Road leaving me and the boys holding the eggs and TP. At first I didn't know why we were running, but if one runs.. we all run. And I was running really fast. I'm no speedster, but the adrenaline carried me past Ira, who was always the fastest when we played football. We met up with Don back at the Wal-Mart and he told us what happened. He saw some cops and decided that all of us shouldn't get caught. That was the end of my egging career. It was also one of the last times I hung out with old sell-out Don too.