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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

We Be Clubbin'

Saturday night in Charlotte, I went out with Jameil, her cousin and her husband. It was his birthday, so we went out to dinner at this spot called Mez. It was cool. Good food, good conversation and afterwards, he wanted to hit up a club. I didn't know we were going to do that, but I was down. We headed to this spot called Tempo.

Let me get this straight. Your club is housed in what looks like an Elks lodge/renovated barn. Your parking lot is a mixture of mud and gravel.  You have a lady selling homemade incense in the hallway. You got an large man in a bright red jacket spinning around looking like the Kool-Aid Man. Your music is not playing loud enough that I have to talk above my normal voice to be heard. Ain't nobody dancing. There are women with gold everything outfits. There are men with Coogi shirts on. I can smell the desperation in the air, or maybe that's the Black Love incense that's burning all night long. Bad weaves and age inappropriate clothes are the norm. There are middle aged men leering at 20 something females and desperate looking 20 something females showing all their cleavage to these same middle aged men.

And you didn't want to let me in because I didn't have on the right shoes? Like I said, I didn't know I was going to a grown and sexy club, otherwise I would have broke out the hard bottoms. But for real, it wasn't that serious. I was still easily in the top ten percentile of dopeness in my pink shirt, jeans and casual shoes. I got in on the strength of the cousin's husband knowing everybody, but I just found it funny that I was getting turned away in light of all of the mess that was going on inside that place. Probably would have been for the best, cuz that wack club was not for me.  

8 comments:

♥PrettyPacino♥ said...

Lol! OMG @ that description! I was getting a mental picture and I had to force it out of my mind.

I hate when people add to the planned schedule. Especially when it's at the last possible sec. Then you look like the party pooper if you don't go along with the impromptu plans. I mean I'm all for spontaneity but I also like being prepared for whatever. I might have control issues. But whatever.

Jameil said...

desperation was THICK. i was so glad you were with me! that is SO one of those places where all the wackest, ugliest, oldest dudes are approaching me all night long. GROSS. i'm so tired of coming home and people taking me to these horrible clubs!!! you know everyone and we're still not getting free drinks??? pass. it's still too wack for comfort.

Jameil said...

and furthermore, you forgot to mention all the bottom shelf liquor on display... you don't put no-name Russian vodka next to Crown Royal & Belvedere, geniuses!! With your pretend 'upscale' lounge. Oh and barn was too generous a description. Elks lodge was right. We were one step from wood-panel walls.

Nexgrl said...

Now Rashan both you and Jameil know that must be one of his favorite spots.

Minerva Exertion said...

WELCOME TO CHARLOTTE!!! lol Anyway, that is the reason I don't do clubs. It's the same shiggidy. Mez is pretty good, but I try to stay away from the Epicenter too. Bleh!

12kyle said...

YooooOooooo! This is hilarious! One of my boyz lives in Charlotte and you just described every club that he's taken me to. When I go to Charlotte, I just tell him...Let's just go to a bar

Jameil said...

ok y'all ganging up on Charlotte clubs. The problem is there are no upscale black clubs in the city. Every time one opens or even a spot where upscale blacks can party, withing a few weeks or months, the thugs and thugettes want to come party, things jump off, club shut down. So the nicest clubs are mixed which means the music ranges from acceptable to irritating.

SincerelyGo said...

OMg...the fact you gave this post the title " We be Clubbin" is hilarious and what you wrote was totally unexpected.Damn You and Jameil didn't break out the camera phones c'mon!

Sincerely,

Go