Black History Month: The Burger King Backfire

I call these posts Black History Month because I'm Black, and these stories are my history...

When I was a senior in high school, I didn’t have a car, and my only friend with a car was on a different lunch than me. So while all the more privileged upper classman would leave for lunch, I was stuck on campus. Even back then, I didn’t eat lunch often, but every now and then I wished that someone I knew would go to Burger King and get me a whopper w/cheese combo. It was literally 2 minutes down the road, and the closest place to my high school. Alas, most days, that didn’t happen. I usually sat in the library writing my rhymes, or hanging out in the chorus room with my homeys listening to music or singing the hits of the day. But one day was different. I was gonna get some Burger King and flaunt it in the faces of them clowns who never asked if I wanted anything.

My sister was in town for Spring Break, or maybe it was Winter Break. She was going to Spelman and her boyfriend went to Morehouse. Cliché, yeah, I know. But he was a cool dude. The night before I asked him if they could bring me some food at lunch, and to my surprise, they agreed. By this time, me and my sister got along, but I was still hesitant to ask her for anything. I was excited at the prospect of having BK, while the rest of the school had tater tots. I already planned out in my mind how I was gonna answer people when they asked what I was doing for lunch. “Nah, kid. Someone is bringing me some food.” They didn’t have to know it was my sister. It could have been anyone. You know I’m a very important dude, right? I’ll pause so you can laugh at my high school delusions. I know now that nobody cared, but in my young mind, It was gonna be serious!!!

So, lunch rolls around and I see Nikki and Gary pull up in his Jeep Wrangler. I go to the car and sit down while they pass me my whopper, fries and an orange soda. They tell me they have to go, so I head back to the front entrance. I had the soda inside the bag, since I also had my rhyme book in my other hand. Made it easier to carry. This dude I know says “Yo, you got BK?” I shake my head like “yeah”, but I don’t speak any words. I’m too cool for that. I’m walking towards the chorus room and suddenly I hear “WHAP”

The soda spilled, leaked through the bag causing all my fries to go scattering and my Whopper to fall on the floor. The wrapper opened and onions and pickles smeared with ketchup littered the floor. The worst part? My doggone burger was drenched. People all around me started laughing. I tried to play it off like I didn’t care, but I was mad embarrassed. I guess that’s what I get for bragging in my head about some cheap old Burger King! My plan backfired!