Thursday, February 18, 2010

One Of Those Days

It was one of those days where people, places and things (mostly people) were annoying me. Nothing major, but just enough for me to write about them...

Somebody smells like outside. Like when we were kids and spent all day frolicking in the woods. For real, there’s a new invention called a shower. Can you look into that?

I can’t seriously be the only person that can read in this meeting. This clearly says “manager duty”, so why are you telling us that this is what we are going to do? I tried to tell you too, and you shut me down? For real, dog?

Creepy Security Guard guy: I need you to stop listening to Rush Limbaugh on your portable radio. Do you not realize that you work with 80% black people and we will mess you up if you call us “Magical Negroes?” I’m just saying, this is not the place for you to make your Anti Obama stand.

Is there a reason that it feels like the pits of Hell inside? You are killing me. It’s 32 degrees outside and 87 inside. I’m not saying it needs to be cold in here, but I’m about to sweat up in here. Maybe that’s why somebody smells like outside up in here.

I know you have to talk, since it’s a requirement for the job, but just for a few hours could you pretend to be a deaf-mute. Or not even a deaf mute, just a mute. In other words, stop talking. I hate your voice.

For real, my dude? Why you gonna run like that? Let me back up. Why are you running at work anyway? And if you are gonna run at work, could you make an effort to not sashay whilst running. Why are your arms moving side to side like that? Why you gonna twist at the waist like that? (Nexgrl – You don’t have to answer this one for me. I already know the answer. . LOL)

Ms Cougar Lady, please don’t regale any more tales of your secksual conquests. I don’t believe you. I don’t want to know that much about you. And did I mention I don’t believe you? I’m sure you have a rich fantasy life, but work is not the place to talk about it.


GorgeousPuddin said...

Bwhahahahahahahahaahaha! Funny as hells. Speak on the crazy office insanity that happens on the daily.
But for real!!! running at work just stop it! Bwahahaha

Jameil said...

ROTFL @ the entire running paragraph. you sound generally snarky today! nothing in particular is wrong but EVERYTHING IS!! lol.

Adei von K said...

Why WAS he running at work? Loser. Ghey loser. I don't think there's a reason for adults to run unless they're chasing a toddler or playing intramural sports.

I don't like cougars. They remind me of a blogger, all talk

Trish said...

I saw a guy sashaying like this the other day at Ikea. It was very disturbing, lol!

I hate people who don't know how to shut up at work, talk to people who actually care what you're saying after work hours.