Thursday Thirteen: Holding My Tongue At Work

I usually get my point across without saying the bluntest things that are on my mind. But sometimes, I want to let loose. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to say the following thoughts that popped in my head this week at work. Here are 13 things I wanted to say, but thought better of...

1. Are you really qualified to make broad general statements about female traits and male traits? I mean, you are the only female in here that dresses like a boy.


2. Can you go ahead and turn that down? I don’t really want to “Get With Your Pimpin’” at work.

3. You know Facebook is free, right? No need for you to be all up in mine.

4. Your hair is the same color as that carpet my Grandmother had in her house back in 1979.

5. Maybe you could sound it out… That’s how Fantasia learned to read.

6. You might be a little too young to be getting that surgery done. Try a lil exercise or at the very least not eating every hour.

7. “How you doing?” does not mean you should tell me how you are doing. It means hi. In the future, I’ll be more succinct with my greeting.

8. I’m not going to do what you tell me to do because you tell me to…Wait, I actually said this one.

9. Don’t get mad, but I broke your code. I know you talking about that Kush. Making drug deals at work is one thing, but could you at least go outside where you can get a little privacy?

10. No, I wasn’t really sick. I just wanted to hang out with my girlfriend. Is that a problem?

11. Don’t ask me to answer any more of your questions, cuz you don’t listen. I’m obviously smarter than you, so you need to defer to my dominant intelligence.

12. The reason people keep calling back is because you sound like you don’t know what you are talking about. Oh yeah, and you are mean for no reason, and act like doing your job is irritating you.

13. Ain’t you a little old to be going to the BET Hip Hop Awards. For real, bruh how old are you? Are you 50? 55? You look old as dirt. You know that saying black don’t crack? That don’t apply to you. I refuse to believe me and you are the same age, when you look like you could be my daddy.