The Bachelorette Party

Yesterday at work we had phone and computer issues that basically meant that we did nothing for about 5 hours. So, after reading blogs and facebook playing around for a couple hours, I finally broke down and joined the conversation that my co workers were having. A little background: One of my lesbian co workers is "getting married" soon, and they decided to throw her a bachelorette party.  I think everyone was a little confused as to what you do when 2 members of the same sex get married, so it really was just game night with people drinking and playing Taboo and Family Feud. Anyway, I was invited, but I politely declined as I was supposed to be going to Florida this past weekend. Jameil came to me instead, but still I wasn't trying to subject her to craziness that is my co-workers. As I heard the details of said party, it seems like I made the right decision.

First, the bride (or groom) got lost and wound up like 3 cities away. She was using her GPS on the phone and the host's address wasn't registering. So, she kept driving. The party was in Marietta, and the bride instead of calling for directions, just kept going. Next thing you know she was in Acworth. ( I know this wont mean anything to people unfamiliar with Atlanta suburbs, but suffice to say, she was way out of where she was supposed to be.) Even when people called her and offered directions or to come pick her up, she just refused. 3 hours later, she finally broke down and let somebody meet her at the job and followed them to the party. Apparently by the time she got there, she was manic and ready to go and had to be talked down to even come inside.

Then there's the co-worker who is apparently engaged to a midget. Well, not quite a midget, but not quite a regular short guy. He was so short that she felt the need to issue a warning so people wouldn't stare. While he told the girl that he is 5'1", everybody who's seen him says that's a lie. They say more like 4'6", 4'7". Anyway, he was there. They say he is the nicest person you'll ever meet, but just short. And apparently not very attractive. And might look like that guy Beetlejuice from the Howard Stern show.  One of the bride's friends said he looked like that stack of money with the googly eyes from the Geico commercials. Oh, and apparently he passed out drunk after 2 drinks, which led to more jokes about his size and blood alcohol content. They didn't have a picture, but even if they did, I don't think I would have looked, what with my irrational midget phobia.

Let's move on to the games. Drunk board games are hilarious and fun to me. But apparently people were yelling and screaming and about to fight over some Family Feud. That would have annoyed me so I'm glad I stayed home. I have a really low tolerance for messy situations. I'm extremely competitive when it comes to games, but it's supposed to be fun. Not to mention, I would have been drinking, so there's no telling what I would have said to them. Would have had a bunch of hurt feelings. I'll let them keep thinking I'm a lovable jerk, not a mean one. So, yeah, I'm glad I didn't go to the bachelorette party. I think it was best for all involved that I sat that one out. Shoot, they didn't have no strippers. LOL