Mr. (UN) Friendly

I don't have any friends.When I tell people that, one of two things happen. 1. Either they don't believe me, or 2. they look at me with pity and/or concern. Yeah, it's true. I haven't had any friends for a while now. And please, stop looking at your computer screen with that look. It's okay. Really, it is... It's also my choice.

I used to have friends. 2 best friends in fact. We did everything together. We talked on the phone. We hung out at each others cribs. We had deep conversations about life, love, music...anything. Then they got on that white powder and I had to distance myself from them. Those were my last real male friends.

I had several close female friends. We did everything together. We talked on the phone. We hung out at each others cribs. We had deep conversations about life, love, philosophy ... anything. Then eventually one of us would get in a relationship and the friendship would fall by the wayside. Full disclosure, I was probably the culprit in this one more than the women. But as they say, c'est la vie...

I used to have a very close female friend. We did everything together. We talked on the phone. We hung out at each others cribs. We had deep conversations about life. love, careers....anything. But that love thing got to be a problem. I mean how many times can you go through the same drama with the same man and expect me to care. The first 3 times I just listened like a friend should. The fourth and fifth time I gave my opinions because they asked me to. By the 12th time I was like... I absolutely cannot have this conversation anymore. Either leave that dude or stay with the dude and get over it. You may say that I was not a good friend, and I'm okay with that. I'd just rather be friendless if that's what a friend has to do.

At this point in my life, I'm very comfortable with just being by myself. No outside demands on my time. No having to listen to other people's problems. No pretending that I'm not appalled when they do ridiculous things. No friends. And believe it or not.. I'm great with that. I'd much rather have acquaintances that I can hang out with at work or on the internet and then go our separate ways. It makes life so much easier for me. Except for when I get married...I don't know who I'm gonna get to be my groomsmen.

I don't expect anyone to condone this lifestyle choice. I'm fully aware that it's counter to everything that most people do. But Rashan is weird. And Rashan gotta be Rashan...