The Choice Is Yours*

Know you've heard the others, phonies to the lovers
Then of course, the choice is yours

Black Sheep “The Choice is Yours”

Dear African-American Women,
I wanna tell you something that you may not hear too often on the internet. Come closer… it’s a secret..

*whispering* You don’t have to go natural.

Yep, I said it. It is okay to put a perm in your hair if you want to. It won’t make you less of a Black woman to relax your hair. You can even wear a weave if you want. Let it flow. You can rock a wig if you want to. I mean, I personally hate it, but it has nothing to do with me. If you want to do it, then do it. It’s your hair. The choice is yours. Don’t listen to all these spiritual bloggers and faux afro centric poetry spouting incense burning 100% black power preaching “sistahs.” If you want to perm your hair, then do it. You can still be a sistah if you prefer Dark and Lovely to herbs and berries. It’s gonna be okay. It’s not like the police are going to stop recognizing your blackness when they pull you over. It’s not like little old ladies are gonna stop clutching their purse because of your silky hair. You are still tied to your roots, even if your roots got lye on them.

And while I’m on the subject, have you ever noticed when someone asks if they should cut their hair off, it’s only the women that tell them to do it. You wanna know why? Come closer, it’s another secret..

*whispering* - Most men want their women to have longer hair than them.

Yep, I said it. Women see a cute cut, men see a lack of hair. Don’t hate us for it. Just like you have your standards of beauty, so do men. Don’t knock them for it, unless you are prepared to abandon everything that you find attractive. You wouldn’t want to date a dude with a jheri curl, would you? Why? Cuz you don’t find it attractive. Like it or not, it is what it is. Men can be superficial, but we aren’t the only superficial ones. I’m just saying.

And let’s talk about this natural thing. What makes someone natural? Is it because you don’t get a perm? But what about the other stuff you put in your hair? I use coconut oil in mine, but it has other stuff besides fruit in it. Am I no longer natural? If my shampoo has anti dandruff stuff in it, does that make it unnatural? If so, I might as well get a perm! And why stop there with the natural standards? You weren’t born with clothes. Wouldn’t it be more natural to just walk around sans clothes? And toothpaste has chemicals in it, are you going to stop using that too? Wait… I feel like I digressed or something.

Back to what I was saying.. natural hair? It ain’t for everybody. Don’t be browbeat into doing it because all your facebook friends are doing it. Don’t feel obligated to prove your blackness by throwing out the perms. We come in all sizes, shapes, hues and hairstyles. Your hair – It’s Yours. If your happy being nappy, do your thing. If not, then by all means feel free to make that appointment with Dawnquesha every 2 weeks to get your hair did. The choice is yours.

Sincerely,
Rashan Jamal

*inspired by reading several facebook comments over the last couple of days where women were looking down on other women for having perms.