Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Butts Up

When I was in elementary school, we used to play this crazy game called Butts Up. When I think about it now, I can't believe the teachers let us get away with it. It was pretty sadistic, in a harmless way, and kind of inappropriate. It went a little something like this.

First you need a huge brick wall, like the one we had at Elmwood Elementary School in Spring Valley, New York. The back side of the school had a huge wall with a grass field behind it. That's where we had recess. There were also swings and other playground equipment, but the grass field is where we played kickball, football and of course Butts Up. Next you need a group of rambunctious children hopped up on candy and chocolate milk. You could play with as little as 4 kids, but on good days we had 25-30. The last thing you needed was a tennis ball. For some reason, we used tennis balls for many sports we played, but we never played tennis. For baseball and catch and Kill The Carrier we used tennis balls, tennis never even crossed our minds...

Once you have those elements, you are ready to start the game. One kid would throw the ball against the brick wall, and the rest of the kids would try to field it. You could catch it after a bounce, or you could catch it in the air. But the important thing was, if your hand touched the ball, you had to catch it. If you dropped it, then you were considered out. If you threw the ball and someone caught it before bouncing, you were considered out. You never wanted to be "out" because that's when the game of Butts Up earned it's name.

If you were out, you had to stand against the brick wall, hands over your head gripping the wall and butt up in the air in the "I'm getting arrested" position. Then, everybody left in the game got to take turns throwing the tennis ball...AT YOUR BUTT!!! Let me say this again. 20 kids got to take turns throwing the tennis ball directly AT YOUR BUTT!!! What in our little pre pubescent brains allowed us to come up with such a crazy game? Why would we willing stand against a wall while other kids try to hurt you with a tennis ball coming at high velocity towards your butt? Because it was fun.

I was a beast at this game. I used to be able to catch anything that came in my direction. And when I was my turn to throw at someone who was out? I would cock back my arm and throw as hard as I could. You had some kids that would lob the ball slowly to make sure they didn't miss, but not the kid. I was like a left handed Dwight Gooden (who was my favorite pitcher back in the days for the New York Mets), sometimes I was wild and inaccurate, but if I hit you, you knew it. It didn't matter if you were my best friend or my worst enemy. The game of Butt's Up was about pain and every kid for himself.

We would play Butts Up until there was one kid standing or, as was more likely to happen, recess was over. We rarely had a winner, especially when we had a lot of kids around. The game just took too long, and there was always one kid that stalled when it was his turn to grab the wall. Or kids would argue that they never touched the ball, and shouldn't be out.We needed instant replay for our Butts Up games. Sometimes, the gym teacher would serve as referee for us, but most of the time we would just enforce the rules ourselves. Either way, Butts Up was a lot of fun. What a crazy game for kids to make up!


Not So Anonymous said...

wth?? You mean the teachers said nothing about this?? I guess that's why kids were tougher back then, lol.

Ms. Behaving said...

"Butts Up"

Jameil said...

I'm mad your gym teacher was a referee sometimes!! Messs!!! What in the world?! i'll take #gamesyoucouldneverplayin2009 for $1000 alex.

Adei von K said...

wait, the teacher would ref this game!?!? OMG!!!! and it was called Butts Up!?!?!!?!?!

this is too funny!!! oh, the games we used to play!!

12kyle said...

LMAO!!! This is hilarious! It's funny how kids can make up their own game without the help of a tv

♥PrettyPacino♥ said...

I wonder if I'm the only person who thought this post would be about a** whoopins when I saw the title... :-0

Trish said...

Whoa! I thought we played some crazy games in elementary school. My least favorite was "Hide-Go-Get-It." The game was just a way for young horny kids to feel each other up, I would find any reason to stay in at recess.

Patti said...

That game sounds awful! I'm glad I didnt go to your school - lol.

DaniColoredGlasses said...

(Hand Raised) Could you please explain "catch and Kill The Carrier?" That actually sounds way worse than Butts up.

DaniColoredGlasses said...

(Hand Raised) Could you please explain "catch and Kill The Carrier?" That actually sounds way worse than Butts up.

Rashan Jamal said...

@ Not So Anonymous - Nope, it was encouraged. I was a tough guy back then.

@ Ms. B - yeah, especially when Michael You.has threw at you. That dude was like 6 foot in the 5th grade.

@ Jameil - definitely cant play that in '09. Lawsuits everywhere.

@ Adei Von K - Yep, the teachers kept the peace so fights wouldn't break out. We called it asses up when nobody was around.

@ 12Kyle - we were always outside, except for when Voltron and Thundercats where on.

@ Pretty Pacino - Nope, I never got a whoopin, that gives me an idea for another post.

@ Trish - they played hide and go get it a little bit, but I never got down.

@ Patti - girls played too. It was awesome!

@ Dani - catch is just catch. throw the ball and catch it. Kill the Carrier was rough. You'd throw a ball in the air and whoever caught it got jumped on by a gang of people until he either dropped the ball or ran to the endzone.